i'm still in awe of the fact you sent me presents from home. or really i should say that i'm still in awe of you. just you know... generally. before all this, i'd reached a point where retreating into myself felt so much safer than being who i am. i felt like i needed to roll up my sleeves to try and hide my heart. i'm not telling you this to spin some manic pixie dream girlesque tale about how you've saved me from myself. i'd just like you to know that i'm feeling much more like myself again, like the timmy who is unabashed with his affection. i'm finding my way back to that version of me because you deserve someone as open and warm and giving as you are.
i've never needed anyone to rescue me. but inspire me? fuck yeah. i'll take that.
i'm so happy today. i know you won't hold it against me if i'm down tomorrow. i've never been sure of something like that and it's a huge weight off my shoulders. you just messaged me that you've been so happy lately (without even knowing i'm writing this) and part of the reason for that is me. it's like i'm in the twilight zone except it's a place where good things finally happen. i said once that i was tired of feeling like it was never going to be my turn to be someone's good thing. you have no idea how much i want to be your good thing.
because you're definitely mine.
a bientot,
timothee